Yes, finally an interactive contest to participate on this web
page!  Much more entertaining than the old non participating
parts.  Sort of.  Either way, here is how it works:  I will
post a new topic each week.  You will mail me your responses
to the topic, and at the end of the week i will rank them and
post them.  The #1 wins 500 gold, and the most #1's in a year
win a free Rathmar T-Shirt.  You may send in as many entrys
as you like.  Replies will be judged on humor content, so
try to make it as funny as possible.  Here is a really bad
example:  "Top 10 ways to get ignored by Rathmar"..
"Good Entry: Tell Rathmar he reminds you of Uther"
"Bad Entry: I like to golf"
*NOTE* You do not need to enter 10 responses, just one (or more 
if you choose to).  My staff and I shall rank them in order from
1 to 10, 1 being the FUNNIEST, and 10 being not as funny, but 
better than the ones that didnt make it.

So, there you have it.  Its very basic, and I hope it will
become quite popular.  Well, enough hype, let the games begin.


Top 10 "Reasons why people go to the ""really cool"" GD parties" 

-NOTE- Put as many of your entries in one as you can.  When you
send 55 (CoughDrizztCouth) or so, each individually, it scrolls
off about half of the entries.


Submit your Top10

ID :

Q 1 : Write your Top 10 Response here.

Thanks for Playing! -Rathmar and Staff RESULTS!
Week 1 "Top 10 Reasons to go to a MUD party"
#10 Mathias "To run away from dreaded beer flavored bear hugs"
#9 Tiberon "To actually be the coolest person at a party"
#8 Uinen "To hear Fitz moan all night about wanting pussy and cars"
#7 Tiberon "To see people actually using "twap" and "bap" in real life"
#6 Deboraha "To watch Rathmar get hammered and act like livestock, again, but this time get it on tape"
#5 Naugri "To see a drunken Astrakan get robbed by a cab driver, and then fall in love with a power. I dont know which is worse."
#4 Tiberon "To finally see how ugly the chick is that wouldnt even talk to you on the mud."
#3 Gommel "To score easily with a drunken Fitz"
#2 Catalamir "Where else can you see Curuntar's pants unzipped... for free?"
And, the number one answer comes from an unlikely candidate, someone who so far hasnt attended a major MUD party, Langor:
#1 Langor "To take pictures of all the valar while they are passed out and then post them saying that "This is what the gods are doing instead of fixing MT"
Week 1 "Top 10 Reasons to go to a MUD party" #10: Mathias - "To run away from dreaded beer flavored bear hugs" #9: Tiberon - "To actually be the coolest person at a party" #8: Uinen - "To hear Fitz moan all night about wanting pussy and cars" #7: Tiberon - "To see people actually using "twap" and "bap" in real life" #6: Deboraha - "To watch Rathmar get hammered and act like livestock, again, but this time get it on tape" #5: Naugri - "To see a drunken Astrakan get robbed by a cab driver, and then fall in love with a power. I dont know which is worse." #4: Tiberon - "To finally see how ugly the chick is that wouldnt even talk to you on the mud." #3: Gommel - "To score easily with a drunken Fitz" #2: Catalamir - "Where else can you see Curuntar's pants unzipped... for free?" And, the number one answer comes from an unlikely candidate, someone who so far hasnt attended a major MUD party, Langor: #1: Langor - "To take pictures of all the valar while they are passed out and then post them saying that "This is what the gods are doing instead of fixing MT" "Top 10 Ways to tell that the "Newbie" you are helping is no newbie" #10: Durlach - They are only one hour old per each level they have #9: Uinen - You tell them to meet you at Rhos.. and they do #8: Miriel - You tell them you will get them an ess and they ask for a "tusk" #7: Variel - They manage to become a sheriff, get over the high pass and find framsburg and get themselves a badge, all in an hour. #6: "No Name" - They know all too much about the 50d old warlords, and let them know it on the comm. #5: Winger - The "newbie" has the plague and runs around hugging everyone. #4: "Same No Name" - The "newbie" has a cool description. Lets face it, all newbies have "They have a message stone." for a desc. #3: Fitz - They lead you to the bywater bush and proceed to start having mud nasty with you. #2: Grate - They tell you they are from Sweden. And the number one answer comes from Grongi, sort of surprising that Gommel didnt even attempt to win the tshirt this week.. #1: Grongi - They are standing at Rhos, 1 hour old orc target, with a fang and mithril mail. I know its not funny, but i also sure as hell know its not a newbie either. "Top 10 Worst Ways To Die" #10: Marsellus - To be killed by Dravin, because you will never hear the end of it. #9: Winger - You are unconscious and can do nothing! Fjant enters. You are unconscious and can do nothing! Fjant grins evilly. #8: Fitz - To refuse mud sex and get taken to Gor and be killed (This story dates back to the Kansas Party, where Rathmar was on his quest to get mud sex, and was not doing so well. He spent lots of money and time on buttering up Chantress, and was unfairly led on, and then was refused, and went and said "damnit, all i was trying to do was get laid, bitch. give me the money for all the wine i spent". Then Rathmar dragged Chantress (who needed to be in a party because she didnt know the way to buckland) and was dragged to Gor and slain. #7: Sylvir - I went to handcuff a crafty criminal hanging out in the lothlorien catapult, launched him, he died. Then i went to the cemetary and handcuffed him as soon as he rested. #6: Canther - I was wanted and in tookland killing a worker and then a level 2 ranger came in and was just standing there for a long time. Eventually i was thrown in jail and when i got out of jail, a god came down and asked me why i stood there while a ranger tried to cuff me about 200 times (old cuffing didnt say that the sheriff fumbled and it took 0 ep to fail). #5: (written for chewy) - To be Marsellus and get killed by Chewy #4: Kelthang - I was on the pelennor and was attacked by Rancor and drank an Aule's Hammer to gain back ep, was knocked unconscious from the drink, and was drunk, and got the crapped kicked out of me for 4-5 rounds, and died just as i became conscious #3: Davyid - I was in the armoury for the meglivornth and tried to wear the dull black armour and was killed, thinking it was by an assassin. #2: Morfaroth - I was fighting the oliphaunt, was critically hit and died, came back, grazed the oli and died. And the number one of the week, helped to be picked by special guests gilgoroth, canther, elena and kelthang, is... #1: Jad - I was sparring with a sheriff buddy and he had a trigger to club any attackers.. and i was clubbed to death "Top 10 Mud Sex Emotes" Alright, this weeks entries sucked. There werent enough to make a top 5 really, let alone a top 10. Admittedly, the topic wasnt that good.. but what do you expect from a group of drunk mudders? "Top 10 Worst NPC's in the game" Official Appologies go out for the lack of good topics.. but i managed a meager top 10, so ill put it up... taking a week off to rebuild and get some fresh topics... Hell, nevermind. This week's sucked also. My fault, bad topic. Need to reconveine and set everything up again... "Top 10 Worst Clan Ideas" The Top 10 is BACK!!! And with avengeance. We have 2 honorary awards to give out before we even begin the top 10.. Most Running-Gag-That-Isnt-Funny-Anymore: Gommel: Clan of the cross-dressing, transexual elves (with Fitz as GM, obviously) Most Not Quite Following What He's Talking About Answer: Zerg: avalance- getting so many damn member using them for gold to get an better clan then they try to make an guild almost get it disband and never return the gold that people donated what dumb people ianau and subzero where mean didnt return any gold that was given out. ok, here's the top 10! #10: Zekk: Clan of the Floating Log. I mean..thats just a bunch of shit! #9: Folde: Avalance, i mean what the hell is this, final fantasy or tolkien? #8 Folde: Anti-Anorhirim, a clan against a clan. heh. #7 Jerex: Avalanche, a bunch of people who formed a clan to look important. #6 Highlander: Anorhirim, the clan of people who dont know what they are doing, and all wave like a real anorhirim or some other stupid thing. the initiation for this clan is to be able to spell anohirim in their legend! also one of these days someone will let them in on "hunt breaks" which their clan doesnt know anything about, easy pickins! #5 Unknown: i have an idea for a clan, a clan about nothing! no theme, just a clan name. perhaps they could annoy the shit out of the rest of arda by 'waving like a real clanmember' when they log on and off, which is about every 14.5 seconds. i would love to start this up, but some tards ripped off my idea, the annoyingirim or something.. #4 Motru: I have an idea.. a group of mercenaries who only care about themselves and gather gold to better themselves. Aye, ive heard this idea way too much #3 Solomon: my own personal clan, the "Clan of Really Amusing People, otherwise known as crap. So far, im the only member. #2 Gommel: name: clan of the drunken mudders. Theme: each and every one of them log on and enjoy saying things that embarass them, making fools of themselves, which they regret the next morning. Co-GM's Rathmar and Dravin The number one comes from an..unsuspecting source. but one of the few people who went out and created their own clan idea, as oppsoed to slamming existing ones (not that that isnt ok).. #1 Slapo: Clan of the Dwarven Hookers.. even though a clan of hookers would be messed up.. ugh, those ugly dwarven women! "Top 10 Narrowest Escapes from Death" #10: Highlander: I was running around in Bree and a shadowy figure attacked me. I tried to escape, but i fell bleeding.. when a shadowy figure bandaged me. It just happened to be a different shadowy figure though. #9: Durlach: I was in the Lothlorien orc camp with a friend and orcs were all over, and i accidently attacked a new group of orcs, and i was wimpying around until i was able to make it to the exit with only 1 hp left #8: Shuma: I saw Florin jumping from a large tower and begin bleeding.. luckly Catatonia jumped before and was able to bandage him. #7: Curuntar: I was fighting gor and started bleeding.. disconnected and logged on as another char to have my friend merlinius bandage me.. and not only did we live, but we didnt get nuked. #6: Wendag: I told Fjant that if he touches my boyfriend again I would kill him, and luckly he was just leaving. Unfortunately, it turns out he didnt have to leave... :( #5: Drizzt: I was in the green dragon as a newbie and i backstabbed a bat, and failed. It massacred me twice and i started bleeding, luckly someone came in with a trigger and bandaged me. #4: Rathmar: I was lagging badly and at Rhos, and Dravin was hanging around, being his usual.. cheery self. Suddenly, im lagged out, and cant do a damn thing... so I disconnect, call my old server in new mexico long distance and log on, to find myself in mirkwood with 30 hit points and dravin hunting me.. i sprint through mirkwood and luckly am able to ditch him with 7 hp... #3: Morfaroth: I heard that Klouse once escaped someone with -7 hp because his flask kicked in just in time.... #2: Turin: My friend died to the haradrim guards in Lothlorien, and i was completely drunk so i went down to get his stuff.. got hacked and was knocked unconcious, but thankfully the hp went up high enough to live from the booze... just another reason that alcohol is good for you. And.. the number one comes from one of my favorite cavemen. Though.. the instance didnt even happen to him :) Congrats Astrakan! #1: Astrakan: It has to be when Nikita was able to heal up at the Minas Tirith healer when she had -19 hps.... (on an offbeat note, i heard about one where a friend of mine lead Kellyn into the sandpit in Dale.. though my friend died, he went there to kill Kellyn.. who went to -60something and didnt die.. Kellyn is one lucky bastard) "Top 10 Top 10 Topics!" (Cheesy, yes) #10: Gommel: Top 10 reasons why Rathmar killed gommel. Twice. In one night. #9: Sylvir: Top 10 weapon emotes #8: Gommel: Top 10 Top 10, why? because it gives Rathmar weeks of topics to go off of. #7: Gommel: Top 10 reactions to Sandra Bullock's picture. #6: Sylvir: Top 10 Most addicted players #5: Nea: What would you REALLY do for a million gold? #4: Sylvir: Top 10 Signs you have been in arda way too long. #3: Toto: Top 10 Funniest things EVER on the mud #2: XXX: Top 10 Miscomms/Mistells And the number one answer comes from... yes... someone who has tried SO hard to get here, and FINALLY he makes it. GOMMEL! Congratulations! #1: Gommel: Top 10 Drunken Oneliners "Top 10 Drunken Oneliners" Before we begin, I got this mail and since it really is very, very lame I thought I would post it here for you all to enjoy: "Ravidel" - Checked answer ((commed)^cou sucks! ill kill em all when im level 19!^ once a character of mine happened to blurt this out... and died 7 times in as many days to genie, serex and konthor. oh, those were the days... ) Dont you just feel stupider having read that? I sure do. #10: Morfaroth: Rat tells you, you fucking suck #9: Deboraha: Lets say you and me and this Jim bean go somewhere less public #8: Slapo: I dont care, give me the cheap stuff #7: Gommel: rathmar says: curu suck donkley fick #6: Gommel: ^ rathmar: yhou sucky oo drbnklu, gfo abck to hiipei school #5: Gommel: rathmar says: whast wht e dir nkyopbrt? uo ftink yo ftink domr beer dintk mr #4: Gommel: ^ rathmar: got ho bgell gomhnbel,!!!! i slear i skanbc toyul you ah 3to1 #3: Gommel: ^ rathmar: i got tobne pee everyn5 miens #2: Gommel: ^ rathmar: i daonty wanna go to kail i ahd to sit and atslk to a dog danmed beer and then i ahdxz to sit and twatch movies onb hbo Yet, with all of those great logs that Gommel made, there is one line that Astrakan has brought us that will forever be #1 in our memories. #1: Astrakan: Fitz to Uinen: Hell yeah we have girls at my school. Fine girls, I look at them and I just want to fuck them all. Fuck them all up the ass, hard. "Top 10 Miscomms/tells" Lame as hell award for this week: "Huma": ^tell wildleaf man cou sucks! im gonna kill em all! Ok, these entries are getting quite annoying/lame. #10: Ithil: i was doing some finds on an enemy and ended up sending all the tells to the prey instead of the assassin #9: Vanderskye: (long story, shortened here for time) Kryton was letting vanderskye pay his fine, and khelben came in and fumbled.. and finally stryker came in and arrested him. When vanderskye was out, he was sending tells to kryton about 'better luck next time' 'too bad you fumbled'.. before realising that kryton was the only decent sheriff of the bunch. #8: Drizzt: any miscomm by preciouss because it will be mud sex #7: Elentar: ^Elentar:Give the fuck up and get on with your life! #6: Nobody ever really cares about the middle ones anyways #5: You all want the top 4: the best of them #4: Walker: ^Walker: Laryn tells you I want to fuck you in the butt #3: Nemesis: ^Nemesis's whole body shudders as he rams into you. #2: Solomon: ^Solomon licks your pussy And the number one.. which only edge's solomon's because its so damned funny comes from Beauty, another one of arda's mentally plagued citizens. #1: Beauty: ^Beauty: I totally agree with that.tell smart you know, if you bring some guns it can really be a gang BANG! "Top 10 ways to tell you have been in Arda too long" "Lame response of the week: Articfox: You end up crapping and pissing in your pants because you forget, that unlike arda, IRL you actually have to do waste disposal" #10: Longfinger: You've been here longer than Rathmar #9: Zekk: You get scared to go outside when the weather is all shadowy. #8: Slapo: You start thinking mudsex is actually better than the real thing. #7: Drizzt: (Well, me on drizzt) You start whining about how your cable modem is fried and now you have to resort to a 56k connection. #6: Durlach: You can actually answer mud history trivia questions. #5: Sylvir: You get mails from your ISP saying: "When we meant unlimited access, we really didnt mean this...." #4: Ezekiel: You are stopped by the police for speeding and all you can think about is if this will be fast enough to get back to reset the armoury. #3: Elastic Bastard: You can remember a time when the Durmanhoth didnt suck. #2: Drizzt: Gilgoroth asks you how you can play so much. And the number one answer comes from someone who I didnt expect to hear it from. Leia! #1: Leia: (taken from a gilgoroth quote): When all the exercise you get in a day is walking from your computer to the coffee maker, you try to figure a way to move the coffee maker to sit next to your computer. (Sorry for the long delay... but the top 10 was a lot better this way, in the end..) "Top 10 Funniest Things on the MUD... EVER!" Ok.. i got a lot of really lame entries where the only entry was a guild name. Heh. Drizzt, you didnt try too hard this week either. #10: Due to the recent.. er.. 'strike', this is a shortened edition of the top 10. this week its kind of a 'top 9' if you will. Gommel, come on. You can try harder. #9: Folde - The bars of Arda Tour (if you dont know, well. You missed out.) #8: Elastic Batard - Dunedan and his 8 clans #7: Kencar - Marthaon getting nuked for something about buttfucking laryn. We all had our suspicions, but finally. Proof. #6: Folde - When gommel was killed twice by his drunken friend rathmar in a bar fight. #5: Kencar - About 30 people are at rhosgobel, including all the ainur, and Calhoun started doing like 120 emotes and stuff. Melkor yelled for someone to shut him up, so Marmacar and Drizzt killed him. And Melkor wouldnt pay their fines #4: Langor (you didnt want your name here, well, too bad) - When Marthaon posted under the 'worst roleplayer' in response to solomon... "hey solomon i roleplayed big time..nothing wrong with my roleplay. i roleplayed to be an ass kicking/licking super mega fantastic warrior. and dont tell me i didnt do a good job" #3: Khufu (Whether this is REALLY khufu is debatable. a little) I took my wolf out into the woods for a little mud nasty, and then a shadowy figure walks in, and tells me to scoot over and give him some. I think it was Piotyr. #2: Fitz - The chain letter. It was hilarious when morgoth logged on and got pissed because he had 10 in his mailbox. (if you missed out on this, you really missed out. It is now illegal to write chain letters on the mud due to this one) And, the number one comes from someone who.. well, cant use the gold. The Ghost of Folde. #1: Folde - When Rathmar was on, drunk, trying to give out his phone number to 80 strangers, and then got pissed off because nobody would call him. "Top 10 Fastest Ways to become Bastard of the Week" #10: Hakim - Act like Dravin #9: Durlach - Ruin an npc player war while Rathmar is involved. #8: Drizzt - Take Rat's beer #7: Drizzt - Someone tells you: hey, its me, marthaon #6: Drizzt - send in 55 entries seperately for top 10 and scroll off half the mails. #5: Rostan - give rathmar a rose and pat his groin, jump up and down and shout: "i'm a monkey, i'm a monkey!" whenever rathmar enters the room so he gets spammed for all eternity. whine about how you lost on the wheel of fun and beg rathmar for a prize every 6 seconds. be a tol durin and bug him to get you a weapon over, and over, and over, remember thorgoth? #4: Carangaer - Spam the comm during Rathmar's Wheel of Fun #3: Gommel - Have the ainur punish Rathmar for logging on while drunk #2: Gommel - invite rathmar to join your guild, compliment him on how well he is doing, accompany it with a few promotions to illustrate. then, completely out of the blue, kick him out on a mere whim. And the number one answer comes from someone who has simply been on fire of late. LANGOR! #1: Langor - make mud-love to him while he refuses it all the way (also known as mud-rape) "Top 10 reasons to become a t2t addict" #10: Jay - To play craps: arda style at 5am #9: Clontar - You become bored of cyber sex and decide to try mudsex instead. #8: Drizzt - Easiest way to become addicted to caffeine #7: Langor - For some people, its the only way to get a chick #6: Duk - The only protection you need for sex is a crs or a fang #5: Drizzt - The only place you can meet people with a worse social life than Marthaon #4: Boggle - Easiest way to get carpal tunnel syndrome before age 25 #3: Hirbel - Fastest way to get rid of that nasty hairy girlfriend you have. It really works. #2: Langor - Learn how to touch type really fast, but only stuff like hpq and shape.. though 'bandage langor' never really comes into Rathmars typing vocabulary. And a new and surprising #1 this week, comes from a former bastard of the week.. Marsellus... #1: Marsellus - How else can you go without bathing for a month and have nobody else know? "Top 10 Worst Additions to the MUD" #10: Slapo - 15 year old swedish lab rats. #9: Lucien - (them damned little shits that bite you legs in tookland. i got bitten like hell my first day playing, and almost never came back. (On a side note, i really dont know what the hell he is talking about, but it made me chuckle) #8: Daibach - that miserable git simon. he should be killed on sight. most of the pcs are miserable enuff... #7: Quillon - i think that some of the worse additions to the game are newbies, especially ones that offer you 10 gold for your crs. #6: Quillon - those new wanna be clans.(freedom fighters) who have a level 3 clan master and want you to pay 100 gold to join them. #5: Anonymous (Gommel) - anything by Uinen (The reason i put this up was that Gommel was so pansyish to not actually post himself that he didnt like uinen's additions. I dont agree at all, but i really think its funny when i get 5 posts from gommel, and one in the middle with his exact style of writing (and part of the same answer) come up, and he tries to pass himself off as "anonymous". "ha.") #4: Kencar - bywayer bush, its the most common place for those hairy mudchicks to take you and rape you against your wishes. #3: Carangaer - wizards and everything related to them (like that silly cave with the super armour and all the magical staves) i've lost all respect for the istari. #2: Kheldar - the unthematic, unfair, commspamming, gossiper spamming, much abused, hated by all sheriff club!! (you know, its not the funniest response i put up, but come on, you know its true.) And, number one comes from someone who i never expected it to ever come from. Valerian the bad, valerian the.. well, guy that seems to suck half the time, and be ok the other half. well, maybe 80/20, but still... #1: Valerian - defintely the worst addition ever to the game was when you got tired by moving more than 10 rooms a second...awful.. (not funny, but if any of you remember it, like half the people playing quit the mud until it was taken out...) "Top 10 Ways to Make an Ainur go Invis. Fast" #10: Durlach - type shout "help ainur" #9: Anonymous - Start talking about what they did at the last mud party #8: Aredhel - ask when MT is going to open #7: Lucien - ask them if they'll answer a question of you'rs. when they don't reply bug them like hell `till they get pissed and tell you to shut-up. then apologize like a "little bitch", `till they get even madder. then call them mean for being so rude to a newbie and tell them you're gonna tell on `em for harassment. the say "aule sucks, and is mean" over comm. not only will it get you thrown in jail for about an hour, but it'll also make `em go invisible #6: Langor - Ask about long overdue guild pet replacements #5: Mortu - start a discussion about fade, or professions and then try to drag them in. #4: Aredhel - If its aule, just tell him hi #3: Aredhel - Send a tell with the word 'guild' in it #2: Aredhel - mention the word, "idea", in any tell, especially in combination with the words "really cool weapon" or "laryn". And number one comes from someone who tries so hard, but always falls short. except for now. Drizzt! #1: Drizzt - file 150 bit reports in moria and then be the first person pkilled there and start whining about the ainur kicking you out of moria for making too many bit reports (you know who you are!)