July 25th: Video Arcades. Have you seen these arcades nowadays? The one in kansas city cost 3 god damn quarters to play any of the good games. and 2 for the sucky ones. *2* quarters to play a game that lasts like 60 seconds! I remember the good old days where you put a quarter in, and you got your damned 10 minutes of gameplay. Not 'oh, he did the superdeath move. damn. move over'. Then, these gun shooting games. They have that 'really easy' first level to make you think you are doing good. Then the hard shit comes in. The first level is what i think of a 'trial phase'. It gets the player to think he's doing good and to get into the game, and then hits you with the quarter sucking hell of ultra death commandos. And nowadays, every single game is either a gun game, a racing game, or some sort of street fighter/ mortal kombat/whatever the hell fighting game. I mean, in the entire arcade there was one game that wasnt like that. A sports game. Im almost thinking that the basketball and football shoot into the hole games would be a better deal, being only one quarter each. However theres always SOMETHING wrong. One little football. You throw it, miss. It hits this slow moving track. All the time saying 'hurry up damnit! dont you know the clock is ticking?' You miss again. Oh no, it got a bit to the side of the ramp. Damn. Game over. And then theres basketball. Shoot balls, and wait... and wait...and wait... the guy next to you is just sinking everything like theres no tomorrow... and you sit... and wait... and wait... and ooh, another ball! Miss. Damnit..! July 24th: The dog track. Yes, one of the coolest places I have been to since Station Casino, but for someone there on their first time, I mean, how many numbers can there possibly be for 8 dogs? Well, theres the times, the times of the winners, all the stats for the last 6 races, the odds on those races, the odds on the current race at the beginning of the day, the ammount of drinks the old dude telling me my winning ticket was no good had, the time that they close all the food and drink places right as we arrive, and the number of people sitting around and scrutininzing these numbers like its some sort of math problem. They are god damn dogs, you arent going to pick a winner by stats alone. Well, you might be able to. Alright, fuck it. I had no clue what all that shit was. I know what a trifecta is. I know what exacta is. If the stupidass guy who gives me weird looks because i dont know that tampa doesnt do win place or show is a master of this shit, well hell im only going again when im drunk. and low on money. I see how $50 can turn into a bunch of worthless pieces of paper and excessive yelling VERY quickly. July 23rd: Airport bathrooms. Yes, they have the cool auto flush thingy now so you dont have to sit there and touch some slimey thing covered in who knows who's piss, which ALWAYS is too high to hit with your shoe. Unless you are one of those kickboxing superdudes, but then if you are one of them, you can piss wherever the hell you want. Well, now to the complaint. Ever notice 'just how close' some of these are? My friend Silver and I were literally rubbing shoulders, because the only two ones that were more than 6 inches off the ground were RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER, and i dont mean really close, i mean REALLY close. I really felt like a dumbass or something, but then again I wasnt in the mood to play 'long distance piss' with the preeschooler toilets. Who knows what sort of bomb making avoin up the ass weirdos hang out in the airport bathroom. I mean, I could be sitting there taking a piss and then some guy in a business suit could come up and say 'would you like me to help you with that?'. Now, how EXACTLY do you respond to some guy who looks like a weirdass congressman asking to hold your dick? I guess I just feel weird about beating the shit out of some guy who looks like he should be filing my taxes. And ALWAYS fear "excuse me?", because hearing him say it again would just be ALL too creepy. Just treat them like a sears salesman. Start coughing some sort of infectious disease in their face, or just zip, and walk away. But, If you have no problem with smacking a guy in a suit, enjoy. Now that im tying this, I really think i am getting soft. I need some sort of bitterness inducing hatred to spawn me up again. July 22nd: Whenever I drink... i always wake up 3 hours after I go to sleep, and HAVE to do something. I wake up like, fully rested. Its really weird. Maybe that is the key to getting rest from a few hours of sleep... get really drunk beforehand. The downside however is that you wake up with NO liquid in your mouth. It feels like my tongue is cracking and stuff, it sucks. Really, really badly. July 21st: TV dinners. Have you EVER noticed how no matter how hard you try, the temperature is NEVER EVER right? I mean, if you follow the instructions, the big meal is always cold right in the middle. So, you put it in longer, and your smaller dishes are way too hot and also hard/crunchy from overcooking, while your big meal is cold in some places and HOT in others. I wish they made microwaves that didnt pull that crap. I could hold a lighter underneath them and get a more even cook. July 20th: I noticed today that my milk cartoon has a nice little picture of a cow head on it. Oddly... it looks similar to another cowhead ive seen. The one on elmers glue. I pour myself a nice frothy glass of milk, see that picture.. and now I dont know if i can ever drink milk again. I just wonder if.. just once.. some guys at the plant wanted to be funny. My friend silver told me how they would switch some canned meat labels with cat food. And so now i wonder. What would it be like to chug down a nice cool glass of milk after a hot day in the sun and have the strange lumpy feeling down your throat.. no... not sour milk. Much, much worse. July 19th: Heh. This was easily the winner. My friend Silver and I are sitting down to freshly delivered pizza to watch the Simpsons. 5 minutes into it.. blech. Cable goes out. We watch the Dodger game for a couple mins, come back, and commercials are on. For the next 20 minutes. They just ran out the time slot with the same commericals over and over and over and over. ARRRGH. That was very, very annoying. It sucked too, if you couldnt tell. Go to hell TCI. July 18th: Public picnics. You can never win with them. Theres always some little kids running around throwing stuff at people and hitting you instead. And whenever you get there, the food is either gone or black. And the weather is NEVER what you want it to be. For a nice park picnic, its SCORCHING, for a swimming one, it rains like mad. Its like there is some guy running a vile weather machine plotting to destroy all picnics out there. Oh yeah, and Zekk had a 104 fever on his birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZEKK! I hope you enjoyed sitting in bed and hacking up strange new colors. ;) July 17th: The nun channel. Its the channel that is after Cartoon Network and before Comedy Central. And whenever i misclick, i end up listening to this SAME nun garble on about something or another. I just dont get it. She's on ALL THE TIME. And its not reruns, its some different guy she's talking to every single time! I think its live, and they just follow her around and she has been blessed by god to not have to sleep. At least she's better than Texas. There, there was this one preacher guy between HBO and MTV, and ARGH, i swear he had the most painful voice to listen to. And he had this grin, like one of those clocks you wished you had headbutted before it drove you insane.. July 16th: Today I have a very serious issue to deal with. Its what is known as 'irc typing shortcut syndrome'. People who love to use little 'nifto' phrases to "get the point across" by typing less letters. One of my problems is, WHY? If you are one of the people who does this crap, you've obviously been on the computer long enough to be able to type fast enough anyways. When i see people say 'how r u' or 'ne1 want to play?', it makes me almost physically ill, and go back to squeezing the invisible squeeze dolls. I mean, sometimes i see shortcuts that are just one letter shorter than the actual thing. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT? It doesnt 'look' cool. Im not referring to acronyms that take the place of large phrases (like afk), but people who use a shorter word to accomplish a word. UGH, too much brain bad has resulted in my not being able to come up with examples. You know what im talking about. July 15th: Ok, i dont understand why, but for some reason I just cant seem to call the pizza delivery place. I dont know what it is.. i guess i have some acute fear of talking to pizza places on the phone, but i cant stand it. It makes me itch inside like ive got all sorts of donuts just pounding away with those plastic hammers kids beat the pegs with. Dont ask.. just.. dont. July 14th: My parents and the phone. Its nice to talk to my parents every few weeks. but they have this thing about talking every weekend. Even though NOTHING has happened. Its a boring life, what am i going to tell them? "Well, i got back to level 19 on the mud mom. And i was elected to this council, but Marsellus has other plans!". And so, all we end up talking about it "So, Darryl, why havent you gotten a job? You should get a job Darryl." Its almost as bad as the "how are your grades Darryl?". Almost. July 13th: BNSF called for Kelthang again. He's been in Seattle for weeks, and the crew call lady just always seems to 'forget' that they sent him away when they want him to come in and spend his days off working for them. Blech. The most annoying part of it is when you are waiting for a phone call. First off, you think 'alright! they called!'. Then it is almost as depressing as if my parents were calling. Then, you sit and wonder 'well, what if they called while bnsf was on the phone?' for those few seconds, your call could have come and been busy and the eternal loop goes round again. July 12th: Ok, its late at night. like 3am. You turn on the tv to find something to watch. After paying all that money for cable, comedy central, USA, and all other similar channels have some guy talking about the 'slam man', a dummy you can use for boxing to relieve stress. god damnit i want south park not slam man. MTV is full of mtv jams, or yo mtv raps. The only channel that has ANYTHING remotely watchable on is the cartoon network, where yogi bear is on. God damnit. You know, picnic basket stealing was cool when i was 5. And yes, i actually sit and watch and enjoy it. This is a sick, sick world. July 11th: Have you ever had one of those days when you lay in bed after sleeping 10 hours, and just NOT want to get up? I mean, you got all the rest you need, and getting up wont require going to work or anything, but yet you still just lay there for hours and hours? Its the weirdest feeling, I just refused to get up for 4 hours. I was in a strange half-awakeness stage for some time. Its not really a complaint, i guess, but i could have been doing a lot better stuff for that time. If i didnt have to go to the store before it closed, i have no idea how long i would have been laying there. July 10th: Tripod. It has been DOWN. I mean, its bad enough ive got these annoyingass popups all over my page, but now it went DOWN for a few days! Hence, the delayed daily complaint updates and the unableness to reach my page. I just dont understand why such a crappy service (that at least isnt geocities) can crash for a few days, and not give me like an extra meg of hard drive space as a bonus present. Im considering moving my page off of tripod to somewhere else just in case tripod decides to play "uh oh, we're going to just disappear like a fox sitcom now". Speaking of, have you ever noticed how many fox shows actually last more than one season? I can count them on my hand. And yet, I keep watching the channel. How weird. July 9th: I bought this bag of potatos. You know, for eating. I was going through peeling them to eat, and like every single one had some weird thing wrong with most of it, so i was getting bite size potatos after I was finished peeling them. I mean, potatos are pretty cheap, yes, but when I buy a bag i want some god damn edible potatos in there. I peeled 6 potatos, and it took me 5 minutes to try and get all the peelings into the sink mcslicems to get rid of em. Isnt that crazy? July 8th: I got this phone call today. Some lady woke me up to ask me if "i received my phone book in a plastic bag". I said yes and hungup. But i just dont understand why people call for that kind of crap. If i didnt get my phone book, id be bitching at them whenever i actually needed it. I dont want some lady asking if it came in a bag. When i lived in albuquerque i was hounded even worse on the phone. I wont even begin with the marine guy who wanted to 'sit down with me for an hour and talk about my future'. I eventually told him I shattered my leg in a car accident so he would stop calling. Well, it delayed him for a few months. I used to get calls from funeral services and police balls and stuff. And, if i turned off my ringer, i would forget to turn it on for weeks and would miss a ton of phone calls. I never ever ever want to go into telemarketing. They are the true backbone of Satan July 7th: Ok, I have a complaint today about a song. Yes, I complain about many songs and many bands, but this song in particular is the type that makes you just want to squeeze invisible throats over and over and over. Its by eve6, its called inside out. If you have ever heard this song, you know it has some sort of a rhyming beebop feel through it. a VERY rhyming bebop feel. Its like the songwriters used a lot of big words they didnt know what means, just because it rhymed. Like origami. Ive been doing it since 2nd grade in school or so, but these dipshits obviously didnt take that class. They think its some emotional state or something. All throughout the song you hear crap like that. If anyone shoots this band, especially the whineyass lead singer, I will personally hold fundraisers to bail you out and help ship you to Jimmy's in Mexico. He's got a pretty hot daughter too. July 6th: The childproof caps on asprin. Yes, a good idea in concept... but what about when I've got this MAJOR hangover, and I want some damn tylenol? Do you think the cap pops open like magic? Hell no. I sit and twist and twist and line up the stupid arrows and you know what? IT DOESNT OPEN!! I want my asprin! My head already weighs a good 150 pounds, I really dont need to be standing trying to open this stupid thing. You know what im talking about. I can tell. July 5th: Well, today was actually a really good day full of pizza and beer. But theres always something out there to bitch about. Especially since im the one doing the bitching. Today's bitch circles around kids. My friend Tim has two younger brothers, and they just do not understand 'patience'. I mean, im playing a game and they want to play me. So, i tell them i will be done in a bit and we can play then. So every 5 minutes i get these annoying as hell messages telling me to get out of my game so i can play them. I dont even really want to play them, but for some reason i dont want to tell them to fuck off. So, i sit and continually get spammed by these messages while sitting in a game that is FULL of lag... I swear, kids just do NOT understand some things July 4th: You know, today was overall a really good day. Not too much to complain about. But, in every day there is always a little but of suckery hidden in the depths. Have you ever gone to a city sponsored event, and when you have to leave you get those traffic controller dudes with the light torches? Have you ever wondered where they got them from? I mean, is there a jury duty for frusterated traffic control guys? They tell you go to right, but you want to go left. You ask why you cant go left and you get a "Lets keep the line moving." and silence. I swear those guys are about as helpful as if fat ladies put on gogo dresses and started dancing outside our cars. July 3rd: (On a side note, sorry for the non daily updates.. I was busy partying.) Golf. Heh. You know, theres just so many things I can complain that are golf related. Like the fact that it SUCKS to lose. I have a few golf complaints while im here. First, is when you have a bunch of pissass slow people in front of you, who turn a 45 minute game into 2 hours in the roasting hot sun because they sit around and suck for far too long and we have to sit and wait. Next, is when you are teeing off after a 7 year golf respite, do you REALLY need to laugh when my club flies 50 yards? I mean, come on. We've seen it in movies. It happens. It really does. STOP LAUGHING! Damnit, i try to share these moments of my life with you people and all you can do is laugh at the futility of my golf game. You suck. July 2nd: Have you ever noticed that when you get a drink at a restaurant, lets say Taco Bell for example. You get a nice, cool pepsi, and it is loaded full of ice. Of course, this assures you of a frosty drink. Thats a plus! So, you drink your frosty drink and converse with your mealmates, and not too many minutes later, you sip your drink again. Suddenly, due to "temperature differences", a lot of the ice has melted. And now your pepsi is watered down. VERY watered down. Its sort of like having a nice sip of brown water. Yummy! Oh, why cant restaurants use less ice? I mean, it costs less than two pennies for the soda, if even that, and yet it costs the consumer $1.06. So, they are going to make about the same ammount of profit anyways, why? I mean, if you are going to skimp on your budget somewhere, stop having all that useless crap that there is in the bins by the register? I mean, besides straws and napkins, i have NEVER needed something from there. How many of you eat hamburgers with a fork? I sure as hell dont. July 1st: You know what is really annoying? Band-Aids. Or whatever the actually term is, curical bandages or whatever. I mean, even these good ones i have, they still suck. You put one on, and no matter what you do, moving shifts it out of place, and eventually it falls off. Lets take my sliced finger from a knife fight with a potato. Its on my finger, so it bugs when I type. So, i put on a band aid. Its too tight, and my finger turns weird colors. i loosen it up. It falls off in minutes. I still have yet to master these magical bandages, but once i do, the secret shall lay bare before you. June 30th: I hate how coffee NEVER stays the right temperature. I want hot coffee, but i like cream in my coffee. So, i put some cream into the coffee, and it stays hot for maybe 1 minute. So, I cant enjoy a nice cup of coffee, hot, unless i go black, or constantly shove it into the microwave. And, not only does the microwave do evil things to my mug, it also makes it taste like drinking fried water. And i dont know about the last time you had fried water... but it isnt too tasty. June 29th: I hate it when you wake up and look at the clock, and it says 6:30.. so you really dont know if its am or pm.. so you have to get up to look out the window.. and then there is no going back. HAHAHA! You're awake now! Hours of possible rest, gone! HA! June 28th: I hate it when i am trying to defrost frozen ground beef. i lay it in the sink and hours later it is still frozen. i poor hot water on it and the middle is frozen. so, i stick it in the microwave on defrost. and so, this starts to cook the meat, making it non-maleable. so you get these hamburgers that are shaped like animal crackers. it sucks. really bad. not to mention the fear of weird food diseases. Ugh June 27th: This is a dual complaint.. so in a way you get twice the complaint for your dollar.. though.. nobody gives me a dollar for this.. and half of you dont even sign my guestbook.. so basically its like when i was a little boy and i didnt get the GI Joe hovercraft that i always wanted to get, the one with depth charges, i feel lonely and unwanted and... hey! back to the story. I hate it when someone tells you "We need to talk" and then they dont tell you what its about. So you sit there worrying and stuff until they can talk to you. I HATE that. I also hate it when someone tells you that "life is really crappy right now, everything has gone to hell, i dont know what to do".. so when you ask "what happened?" you get no response whatsoever, so you think like that their parents are dead and all his friends were infected by ebola and he has been diagnosed with genetal cancer, when like basically his favorite baseball team lost a game. !?!??!?!?! June 26th: This is king of a continuation of yesterdays... I went to the store for those coffee filters. Yesterday i spent $17 on groceries, and today i spent $20. When I go to get coffee filters and a couple other 'necessities', i dont want to freaking spend more than the day when i went to get the food! ARGH.. I always spend way more than I ever wanted to when I go to these places. And, even worse. Even much, much worse, is that after a day of using paper towels as filters, right when i get home from the store i find a box of 50 filters in the cabinet. And coffee. AAAAARGHHH.. I didnt even have to go to the store AT ALL!!!! Its so damned ironic, isnt it? June 25th: MAIL RECEIVED! THE US POSTAL SERVICE IS err, sorry for the caps. only a minor evil now. !!:) Well, today's bitch is about when i go to the store, and out of the DOZENS of items i pick up, after intending to get 1/3 of that.. well, then i forget something. Coffee filters. Do you know how ANNOYING it is to forget something like coffee filters? Its crucial to make coffee, which is what a large part of what i bought is used for, but somehow its hardly worth the effort to go back for just them. I mean, if it was something like meat, thats one thing. Thats a necessity. But even though I still cant make coffee, its not really worth it for what, 1.10 for coffee filters? my god. June 24th, 1998: I hate it when you wake up with a hangover, and you get this feeling on your face, like all the blood is in your cheeks, and the rest of your head is numb. I KNOW you know what im talking about. Its kind of like if you ziplocked a duffel bag to your head and tried to bash penguins with a can opener. Cure: 12 tylenol and milk. Silver's Cure: Slam a beer. Note: Mail still not received. June 23rd, 1998: I hate it when im listening to the radio, and this band i dont like *cougheverclearcough* is palyed on their new song, then the next half hour they play their previous release, and seem to alternate this pattern for the ENTIRE DAY. God damnit, we dont need to hear them more often than the score updates on ESPN. Ive heard them before. Ive heard them again. I just dont want to hear them NOW. Note: Mail still not received. June 22nd, 1998: I hate it when my mom sends me via mail a check that i NEED for food, and my texas license so i can finally have photo id again, and i end up sitting by the mail for almost an ENTIRE week and i dont get it. I mean, come on. Why does the US mail have to suck? Its not like we can really go to "National Mail of America", the competition. Its a dirty monopoly I tell you. And they are all scheming and plotting to steal our birthday cards and beer-by-mail. Why do you think that its postal workers that go mad? Its the pills they get slipped into their coffee when they discover the conspiracy, and threaten to expose it to the world. So, I am here, and ill tell EVERYONE! HA!!!! US MAIL IS THE EVIL EMPIRE! THEY OWN WAL MART! HAAAaaaaaa.. err..heh. June 21st, 1998: I hate it when i go to the ATM to get money with my bank of AMERICA card, and it doesnt recognize it. So, i go to the one in the supermarket, so that i can get FOOD, and it doesnt recognize it. I mean, its bank of AMERICA, not bank of Orieo or something, GIVE ME MY MONEY!! So, with my $2 i get to go shopping. Hurrah! you know what $2 buys nowadays? Like, 3 oranges. Thats about it. DAMN YOUR BLACK HEART BANK MEN! June 20th, 1998: I hate it when im in a movie theatre, watching a PG 13 or R rated movie, and theres some mother who brings her 4 year old kid in. The kid sits there and of course, screams and whines about not getting enough popcorn or some crap, and its supposedly "bad" to turn and scream obcenities at the kid to make him shut up. I mean, like some dude getting 14 holes shot into him or a gigantic lizardbeast ripping people apart is NOT going to make the little piece of crap cry?! !!! June 19th, 1998: I hate it when someone sees a movie you really wanted to see, and they go and immediately say "well, yeah, america got destroyed! It was really cool! And then the main character was killed before the end! and then, the girlfriend got hit by a bus! It was SOOOOOO tense, i didnt know what was going to happen! So.. then.. you get to sit there, and watch a movie.. and well, it sucks. Though, once, someone told me what was going to happen.. or, at least i thought he did. So, i went to the movie expecting everyone to die.. and they didnt. That wasnt so bad. June 18th, 1998: I hate it when I wake up, and my neck is REALLY sore, and no matter what i do or take, it remains sore as hell for the rest of the day. I mean, its not the nice friendly kind of sore you get when someone kicks you in the ribs, but its the hurting, bad unfun kind you get when you move your neck in one direction it makes you completely flinch and move it back. Stupid necks, why cant we all be like Henry Rollins and have a trapezoid for a neck? June 17th, 1998: I hate it when I go to Wal*Mart: The Evil Empire and EVERYTHING is moved around. The entire shopping routine is completely screwed up and you spend hours on isles with stuff you never would have considered buying until you were there. Plus, in the food section, they have this aisle with fans and microwaves and stuff. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? When im looking for some ramen and potatos, im not gonna go 'well, a microwave would look nice next to the printer'... ?!!! June 16th, 1998: I hate it when I log onto AOL to get my top 10 mail, and i have to fish through my email, sometimes even deleting friends messages because of all the porn mail you get at aol. Its horrible. I mean, it wouldnt be so bad if every title was 'xxx' or 'please eat me daddy', but because they are now 'hi' or 'remember me?' or the worst is 'mail daemon: mail returned' and then you read it and the color changes to black and big pink letters come up.. well, you get the idea. all i want is to use my free email without having to go to hotmail. damnit. June 15th, 1998: I hate it when Kelthang goes and does the 'ripcord' at Worlds of Fun, this 200 foot drop freefall extra neat thing that i was going to do with him, but i get shafted because another girl wanted to go and so i got to sit the bench. So, Silver, Jennifer and I decide to sign up to do it, and then father lightning decides to interveine and make it "too dangerous" to go ride. What a crock. June 14th, 1998: I hate it when im watching the NBA finals, and the Bulls are playing someone, as always, and i always root for whoever it is playing against them. And, every year, the Bulls win and i get upset. Because the bulls ALWAYS win. I mean, damnit man. Its like some sort of conspiracy. Why cant i like a team that always wins? Probably because im not a bandwagoneer. Maybe if i was, i would be less grouchy. June 13th, 1998: I hate it when there is a hole in my air mattress, and when i think ive FINALLY found it and fixed it, theres ANOTHER one hiding in there! So, basically, its either hard floor or back destroying couch for the night :( June 12th, 1998: I hate it when netscape plays this game with you, called 'fun mccrashums'. For example, every page that seems to have.. well.. graphics it goes into its "extra cool" not responding mode. This is really annoying when you have been downloading a file. For two hours. and its at 94%, and whoosh! when you have to end task, it kills the download :( To make matters worse, after deleting netscape, and reinstalling a different version, it was even worse! Now it crashes on my web page housekeeper, so i am FORCED to use Internet Explorer! AARRGHHH June 11th, 1998: I really hate it when i wake up hungover, and REALLY badly need a drink of water, but my head is spinning so bad that i think if i stand up i will throw up, and nobody else is around to get it for me.. so i have to lie there with my mouth totally dried out, needing tylenol badly, but unable to do a damned thing about it. June 10th, 1998: I hate it when the "Phone Guy" comes to install the second line EXTRA early in the morning. He couldnt coem at, like, 4pm like the cable guy. He has to be 'on time' and 'precise' and arrive while you are asleep. Bastard. THEN, he charged $25 bucks to rewire something that took him all of 30 seconds. I swear these phone companies are out to get me.